Sunday, 13 March 2016

Life: I Want to Elope

R considers eloping for the first time



To put this post into context, I love weddings. I am totally pro-marriage and I have been planning my dream wedding in my head since I was about 10. No kidding, I've had my wedding march song picked out for about 15 years. 


Naturally, when I got engaged I was rather excited. Not only do I get to marry the most incredible man in the world, I also get to plan a wedding - yay! 


Now of course I knew that planning a wedding would be stressful, there's so much to orchestrate. The food, the drink, the dress, the decorations - everything! It was overwhelming at first but a few choice magazines, great bridesmaids and a lot of spreadsheets meant I soon got my head around it and within two months of getting engaged we had nearly everything planned. 


At this point I thought I must be in for an easy ride, I mean, where was all this insane wedding stress people spoke of? Why wasn't I turning into bridezilla yet? 


And then it hit. Or rather, the invitations were sent and lo, the drama rolled. 


It turns out planning a wedding isn't very stressful at all, it's managing 200+ people that keeps you awake at night. For the life of me I can't figure out why no one thought to tell me this? It turns out, every single other bride I know also had a nightmare time but was far too polite to say anything. Well, not me, I'm going to blog about it. 


Now I love my guests, each and every one of 200 little sods. People are flying from Morocco and hotels in Bristol are booking up and I am so honoured that people are spending their time and money on us. But boy, do I not have the time nor inclination to stress with them over the following: 

  • Travel and hotel arrangements. I have put suggestions on our wedding website, for everything else, there's Google.
  • Table plan worries. It's my party and you'll sit where I want you to.
  • Not-quite-RSVP, RSVPs. All I ask is for one little email, is it really that hard?
Oh and look at that, I found my inner bridezilla. All it took were 200 wonderful people all having to be in the same room at the same time, wearing fancy clothes - who knew that would be stressful?

For about a day, when I reached peak stress and stopped feeling any joy whatsoever, or even any memory of joy, warmth or sunlight I berated myself for not eloping to Tuscany as I'd briefly considered. A small wedding with only tanned Italian witnesses was starting to sound pretty great. 


But then, I called my mother, I calmed down and I remembered that this was all very difficult for a very good reason and that part of the reason people were being a little bit stressful was that they were all very excited. Slowly I breathed in some grace, breathed out some patience and started to embrace my guest's concerns as gestures of their care for our big day. 


I've since come full circle and am now overwhelmingly excited to get married and have all the people we love so much be there with us. Bring.It.On. 


R x


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